Nostalgia

Whew! I never really thought that post-exam period would be as stressful as exam period...except this one is a different kind of stress. Kind of like fun stress- you know, shopping every single day trying to look for prom dress and the perfect Christmas present for everyone...making sure it's not too expensive and yet useful and meaningful...

I guess in a way, keeping myself busy is good (apart from me getting sick cause I've been going out too much and not really getting much sleep)- then I don't really have to think about the fact that I'm going back home for almost 5 months and that things will just be so different when I come back here. Jo will be in Melbourne...Albert may or may not be here anymore...Lianglin and Ernest will be in the army... It's really ironic... I never thought I'd ever say this, but here it goes: I will miss Singapore very very much.

But even though I may have been really busy...thoughts about leaving this place can't completely escape my thoughts. Somehow, it just manages to creep into my mind. As much as I want to avoid thinking about it, I just can't. I guess the idea of not knowing what's up next for me scares me quite a bit. It's not so much about not knowing which university I'll be going to...but more of leaving the people I really care for and not knowing when I'll see them again...I will definitely see them individually...but it won't really be the same anymore. Like just now, a few of us were preparing for a BBQ we're having tomorrow...and I just found myself looking at them from one corner and wondering when we all can spend time together again...as a group of people who became close because of a common passion. Just thinking about all the great times we've spent together...Wow. I can't even find the right words to express how much they mean to me.

I guess I'm just really tired of change. I'm not really a person who trusts and it just sucks when you find a group of people whom you can trust but then suddenly, things just have to change. Same thing happened when I left for Singapore...and now, it's happening all over again. Although I am looking forward to spending good time with my family and friends back home, I'm having mixed feelings about it cause I'll be leaving my family here. Oh well, guess life is just like that- nothing is constant.