It's just all so familiar. A year ago, I was in the exact same rut. I've been trying to get out but I'm just too afraid. And even if I've managed to break down the wall, it feels naked. It's as if sooner or later, I'll somehow land back to where I came from.
Whenever I muster up enough courage I realize that it's not the only thing I need. Trust. I need to trust myself that it is possible and that I can do it. But why is it so hard? And even if I manage to succeed...is it enough?
"Sometimes it feels no one understands. I don't even know whyI do the things I do. When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul, will you break down these walls and pull me through?"
4.06.2006
4.03.2006
Independent Woman
I happened to stumble about this MSN site...it's called "10 People Every Woman Needs". I thought it was pretty interesting though I don't fully agree with it. It just goes to show how the world sees women in general.
1. An Ethel Mertz. This lifelong friend will be there for all your impetuous "Lucy" moments, whether you're embarking on a crazy scheme (spying on your ex, dying your hair pink) or nipping at the Vitameatavegamin.
This is definitely true. It's really great to have friends who can just listen anytime of the day. It's fun to talk about anything and everything to that person cause you know that she will definitely understand what you mean.
2. A boy friend. As in platonic male pal. While he'll never replace your girlfriends for late-night Ben & Jerry's gossip sessions, having a Ben or Jerry in your life can be just as beneficial. He'll be your plus-one at parties and the third wheel when you need a buffer. And his insight is especially helpful for all those "Y" questions, such as, "Why are men so...?" "Why did he...?" and "Why won't he...?"
Yes, indeed. Truly helpful! But some of them can be quite gossipfreaks too and that's the scary part. Another danger is that the friendship develops into something more for one party...which totally spells disaster. Although we always say that the friendship should always come before anything else, it's just difficult to walk the talk.
3. A born-to-shop pal.
As much as I'd love to agree to this...it's not good when you are broke. Shopping with friends make me lose my senses. I tend to think that it's okay to indulge more than usual since everyone else is doing the same thing anyway! Bad. Bad. Bad.
4. A money manager. A financial advisor can help you get fiscally fit, from reducing your debt to funding your kids' education.
I am proud to say that this is someone I do not need! Ok, ok, ok...before you object! Hear me out! I am a responsible person and I can manage my own money quite well...why would I need a money manager?! Plus...most of the people who offered to be my money manager are 100% corrupt. So...who needs a money manager?? I'm not a shopaholic, you know.
5. A fitness buddy.
I think it's fun to have a fitness buddy but it's not a must. Sometimes fitness buddies can actually talk you out of going to the gym...and that's definitely a no-no.
6. A gynecologist.
Err... I think this is self-explanatory.
7. A Bea Arthur. They don't call her a "Golden Girl" for nothing. Having an empowered, feisty female role model lends wonderful perspective.
Some may need it and some may not. Since women tend to overindulge in their emotions, it's good to be reminded that there is such a thing called 'enough'. I'd really like to think that women and men are equal...and hope that the world feels the same way as well.
8. A trusted hairstylist. Trusted being the key word. This is someone who comprehends the meaning of "just a trim" and can teach you how to achieve salon results at home.
Of course! Who wouldn't want one??
9. A dream lover.
Uhm...really?
10. A child. Watching a kid (yours or someone else's) at play reminds you how simple and joyful life can be.
I think this is true. You'll be surprised by how they can actually make your day a whole lot better. :)
1. An Ethel Mertz. This lifelong friend will be there for all your impetuous "Lucy" moments, whether you're embarking on a crazy scheme (spying on your ex, dying your hair pink) or nipping at the Vitameatavegamin.
This is definitely true. It's really great to have friends who can just listen anytime of the day. It's fun to talk about anything and everything to that person cause you know that she will definitely understand what you mean.
2. A boy friend. As in platonic male pal. While he'll never replace your girlfriends for late-night Ben & Jerry's gossip sessions, having a Ben or Jerry in your life can be just as beneficial. He'll be your plus-one at parties and the third wheel when you need a buffer. And his insight is especially helpful for all those "Y" questions, such as, "Why are men so...?" "Why did he...?" and "Why won't he...?"
Yes, indeed. Truly helpful! But some of them can be quite gossipfreaks too and that's the scary part. Another danger is that the friendship develops into something more for one party...which totally spells disaster. Although we always say that the friendship should always come before anything else, it's just difficult to walk the talk.
3. A born-to-shop pal.
As much as I'd love to agree to this...it's not good when you are broke. Shopping with friends make me lose my senses. I tend to think that it's okay to indulge more than usual since everyone else is doing the same thing anyway! Bad. Bad. Bad.
4. A money manager. A financial advisor can help you get fiscally fit, from reducing your debt to funding your kids' education.
I am proud to say that this is someone I do not need! Ok, ok, ok...before you object! Hear me out! I am a responsible person and I can manage my own money quite well...why would I need a money manager?! Plus...most of the people who offered to be my money manager are 100% corrupt. So...who needs a money manager?? I'm not a shopaholic, you know.
5. A fitness buddy.
I think it's fun to have a fitness buddy but it's not a must. Sometimes fitness buddies can actually talk you out of going to the gym...and that's definitely a no-no.
6. A gynecologist.
Err... I think this is self-explanatory.
7. A Bea Arthur. They don't call her a "Golden Girl" for nothing. Having an empowered, feisty female role model lends wonderful perspective.
Some may need it and some may not. Since women tend to overindulge in their emotions, it's good to be reminded that there is such a thing called 'enough'. I'd really like to think that women and men are equal...and hope that the world feels the same way as well.
8. A trusted hairstylist. Trusted being the key word. This is someone who comprehends the meaning of "just a trim" and can teach you how to achieve salon results at home.
Of course! Who wouldn't want one??
9. A dream lover.
Uhm...really?
10. A child. Watching a kid (yours or someone else's) at play reminds you how simple and joyful life can be.
I think this is true. You'll be surprised by how they can actually make your day a whole lot better. :)
4.02.2006
It's The Little Things That Matter
"A smile costs nothing but gives much. It enriches those who receive without making poorer those who give. It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. None is so rich or mighty that he cannot get along without it and none is so poor that he cannot be made rich by it. Yet a smile cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away."
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