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It's good to be back home...

There's a picture of me, my sister and my very shy nephew Nyles! It's really great to see the kids again. They just love to say the funniest things in the world! I have this other nephew, Nico (the older brother of Nyles), who talks like a Rugrat. His R's are W's. Here's a typical conversation of me and Nico:

One fine day, he was playing with Buzzlightyear, a character from "The Toy Story"...
Me: Hey Nic, that's a nice toy! Who is it?
Nico: Buzzlightyear! (pronounced as 'Buzz-light-ee-yo')
Me: Oh! Buzz-light-ee-yo?
Nico: No! Buzzlightyear! (But again pronounced as 'buzz-light-ee-yo')
Me: Buzz-light-ee-yo?
Nico: NO!!! BUZZLIGHTYEAR! (With a louder and a more frustrated 'buzz-light-ee-yo')

Haha I'm mean but it's fun to talk to them! So that's the bulk of the things I do here...just play with my nephews.

I've now been introduced to the world of yoga. There's this thing called the Bikram Yoga where you do the athletic yoga, as opposed to the meditative one. The unique thing about it is that the room is heated so basically, you're supposed to sweat like mad. But oh well, I didn't really sweat at all. After one try, I've decided that I'm more compatible with the gym. :p

And of course, who could ever forget the shopping??? The shopping here is fantastic because it is WAY cheaper than the ones back in Singapore. Since the Philippines is a place known for cheap labor, a lot of imported clothes are produced here...including: GAP, OLD NAVY and TOMMY HILFIGER. Sometimes it's difficult to control the production. Well, good thing for me, some of these clothes/products make their way to this place called Greenhills where people can avail of these products for about 1/3 the price! They're called export overruns...they're not fake. They're just...not sent to the States. Sort of like leftovers.

All these are fun...but at the end of the day, there's still one thing I miss: carolling! Thinking of you guys back there...wish I could sing with you too! But oh well, maybe next year! I'm sure all of you are having fun making music...! Will be with you guys in thoughts!

Many Thanks!

For all those who went to Starry Night 4: You and I Both, many many many thanks! :) It was great performing for you guys! You've been such a supportive crowd, I couldn't feel any more comfortable! It's the best gig I've ever had and thanks to all of you for making it happen! Biggest thanks goes out to all the FLIPS who were all out in supporting us...your presence made all the difference!

To FLIPSIDE: Thanks so much guys for giving me this opportunity to work with all of you! I'd say it wasn't even work, it was more of, enjoying music with you guys! :) All of you have such great talents I'm really proud of each and everyone of you! Let's not make this a one-night-only event!

The Case of the Scrumptious Beancurd

So here I am at the Senches--> short for SESS benches --> short for School of Economics and Social Sciences Benches, eating my favorite Mr. Bean beancurd with pearls. Yup, you read that correctly. It's soya beanCURD with PEARLS. You see, it's really tough to order this crruent addiction. Everytime I tell the lady I want beancurd with pearls, she reaches out for the cup to get soyabean milk instead. So I'd say, "No, no, no, beanCURD." And of course, she'll look at me puzzled for about 10 seconds, until I have to repeat it again while panicking cause I'm already late for my next class. And after looking at me for 10 seconds, she will of course repeat after me. "BeanCURD?" "Yes auntie, beanCURD." So after prolonging the waiting time of those behind me (who I assume is also going to be late for class), I finally get what I want.

It is really THAT strange? Well, it's a commin thing in the Philippines. Maybe not with the big black pearls but it's still beancurd with pearls. Take a look:

That whitish-transparent-ish thing on the left most is the pearls (sago). Beside it is the sweet sauce and the one on the right is the beancurd. Yup, this is what you see in the streetsides of Manila. Not your usual red bean ice cream sandwhich.

I'm a Superhero

Have you ever thought of who you'd wanna be if you were a superhero? Or what your superpowers would be? Cause if I were one, I'd probably want to have the ability to know what other people are thinking. Well of course it can be a pain especially after watching the movie "What Women Want" but I guess this world needs a little bit more honesty. I just hate having to second guess what people are feeling or thinking. There's so much room to make false judgement and conclusions which may not be true... I know it's not as selfless as having the capacity to "save the world" but I guess it's a little bit more connected to the normal side. I won't have the need to stop my feelings for other people (like Superman for Lana Lang) cause I always have to "go somewhere". Or I don't have to lie about my job (like Sydney Bristow) cause practically, I don't have a job (yet)! Ok, Sydney Bristow isn't really a superhero but you know what I mean. So if I just knew what other people are thinking, it doesn't mean that I have to fly around and save lives...well except for those who are suicidal.

Anyway, tomorrow is the ACJC Open House so I urge all of you to drop by. :) It's a great school I'm sure everyone will enjoy it! Go and listen to the choir sing as well! Surely, you'll have a fun time there. :)

BREAK BREAK BREAK!

Whee! Finally the break has come! Sigh it's been a long time since I last saw daylight...I've been in school catching up with lessons, meeting deadlines, meeting groupmates...roar. No wonder they call SMU the Singapore Meeting University. Lame, but yes, I now understand why. Although my week is not exactly study-free, here's what I intend to do:

1. Go back to the gym.
2. Read a book.
3. Finish my TV show backlogs.
4. Go to the beach.
5. Watch a movie.
6. Shop!
7. Sing!
8. Ok, fine. Study a bit.

Oh and yes, I plan to update my blog more regularly from now on. :) But for now, I've got some tv backlogs to finish! Ta-ta!

Waiting

It's 6:46AM and I'm trying to keep myself awake. I have about half an hour more before I leave for the airport. Don't really dare to sleep cause I might miss my flight! Horrors of horrors if that really happens. So anyway, I just decided to update since I've finished packing and there's nothing else to do.

It's going to be a truly busy two months ahead of me. Well, right now, I'm just waiting for my flight to Manila to spend a good 5 days with my family and also to celebrate my Grandmother's 90th birthday. After that, I've got a day left in Singapore (which will be used to for some performance) before I fly to Europe for our choral tour. This time, we will be competing in Wales. That will be followed by my trip to France, Italy and Austria (Sound of Music, here I come!). I'll be coming back to Singapore to do my matriculation stuff at SMU and if my parents allow me, I'll be visiting my sister in Canada after that! I'm really excited about travelling...hope things work out the way it was planned.

I've Lost It

Cristina: How do you keep your edge sir? Because I've watched you and you've been doing this a long time and you're clean, you're focused, you are the job, nothing gets to you. And the thing is sir, I was like that, until I got here. Until I actually started doing this job and now everything is---is fuzzy and
Chief: That’s beside the point.
Cristina: No see sir, this is the point. Because I can't tell you, I can't tell you what happened in that room. And before I could have, no guilt, no loyalties, no problem. Before, before I wouldn't have even been in that room. I wouldn't have gotten involved. I would have never frozen in surgery. And I would have told him what I thought he should do. I had an edge, sir. I had an edge and I've lost it, and I need it. I need it back. So, if you could just tell me, how you keep yours and how not to be affected, I know I could be a great surgeon. So if you could just give me the answers, I would really appreciate it.

The truth is, I've become more human. I've learned how to feel...how to let go. But I don't know whether it is actually a good thing. It made things less clear. No more black or white. It's all different shades of grey. I get distracted and sometimes, it feels like I just couldn't get back on track. Silly, huh? But being more human made me learn to care...not just about myself but care about others too. I've learned to laugh...but I've learned to cry too. Others define it as living life to the fullest. But is it? I'm not too sure.

Black Roses

Can I ask you a question please

Promise you won't laugh at me

Honestly I'm standing here

Afraid I'll be betrayed

As twisted as it seems,

I only fear love when it's in my dreams

So let the morning light come in and let the darkness fade away

Can you turn my black roses red?

Drowning in my loneliness

How long must I hold my breath

So much emptiness inside I could fill the deepest sea

I reach to the sky as the moon looks on

One last year has come and gone

It's time to let your love rain down on me

Can you turn my black roses red?

Cuz I'm feelin like I'll blame it on love.

Life So Far

Yes I know I haven't been updating much. I've been really occupied with so much stuff that life actually feels like a soap opera now. And no, I'm not exaggerating. But despite all these, I'm glad there are people around me who stand by me :) And of course, prayers do work wonders!

Hmm..I don't really feel like blogging about it. So I'll blog again when I feel like writing already. :p Going to get my fix of McDreamy now.

Thank You

An Evening With Friends 2006

Thank you so much for sharing this special night with me. It was indeed a wonderful night of music making! See you all again next year. :)

Here I Go Again

It's just all so familiar. A year ago, I was in the exact same rut. I've been trying to get out but I'm just too afraid. And even if I've managed to break down the wall, it feels naked. It's as if sooner or later, I'll somehow land back to where I came from.

Whenever I muster up enough courage I realize that it's not the only thing I need. Trust. I need to trust myself that it is possible and that I can do it. But why is it so hard? And even if I manage to succeed...is it enough?

"Sometimes it feels no one understands. I don't even know whyI do the things I do. When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul, will you break down these walls and pull me through?"

Independent Woman

I happened to stumble about this MSN site...it's called "10 People Every Woman Needs". I thought it was pretty interesting though I don't fully agree with it. It just goes to show how the world sees women in general.

1. An Ethel Mertz. This lifelong friend will be there for all your impetuous "Lucy" moments, whether you're embarking on a crazy scheme (spying on your ex, dying your hair pink) or nipping at the Vitameatavegamin.
This is definitely true. It's really great to have friends who can just listen anytime of the day. It's fun to talk about anything and everything to that person cause you know that she will definitely understand what you mean.

2. A boy friend. As in platonic male pal. While he'll never replace your girlfriends for late-night Ben & Jerry's gossip sessions, having a Ben or Jerry in your life can be just as beneficial. He'll be your plus-one at parties and the third wheel when you need a buffer. And his insight is especially helpful for all those "Y" questions, such as, "Why are men so...?" "Why did he...?" and "Why won't he...?"
Yes, indeed. Truly helpful! But some of them can be quite gossipfreaks too and that's the scary part. Another danger is that the friendship develops into something more for one party...which totally spells disaster. Although we always say that the friendship should always come before anything else, it's just difficult to walk the talk.

3. A born-to-shop pal.
As much as I'd love to agree to this...it's not good when you are broke. Shopping with friends make me lose my senses. I tend to think that it's okay to indulge more than usual since everyone else is doing the same thing anyway! Bad. Bad. Bad.

4. A money manager. A financial advisor can help you get fiscally fit, from reducing your debt to funding your kids' education.
I am proud to say that this is someone I do not need! Ok, ok, ok...before you object! Hear me out! I am a responsible person and I can manage my own money quite well...why would I need a money manager?! Plus...most of the people who offered to be my money manager are 100% corrupt. So...who needs a money manager?? I'm not a shopaholic, you know.

5. A fitness buddy.
I think it's fun to have a fitness buddy but it's not a must. Sometimes fitness buddies can actually talk you out of going to the gym...and that's definitely a no-no.

6. A gynecologist.
Err... I think this is self-explanatory.

7. A Bea Arthur. They don't call her a "Golden Girl" for nothing. Having an empowered, feisty female role model lends wonderful perspective.
Some may need it and some may not. Since women tend to overindulge in their emotions, it's good to be reminded that there is such a thing called 'enough'. I'd really like to think that women and men are equal...and hope that the world feels the same way as well.

8. A trusted hairstylist. Trusted being the key word. This is someone who comprehends the meaning of "just a trim" and can teach you how to achieve salon results at home.
Of course! Who wouldn't want one??

9. A dream lover.
Uhm...really?

10. A child. Watching a kid (yours or someone else's) at play reminds you how simple and joyful life can be.
I think this is true. You'll be surprised by how they can actually make your day a whole lot better. :)

It's The Little Things That Matter

"A smile costs nothing but gives much. It enriches those who receive without making poorer those who give. It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. None is so rich or mighty that he cannot get along without it and none is so poor that he cannot be made rich by it. Yet a smile cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away."

No Change For Now

Guess what! I'm updating my blog from a blogger site that's in Chinese...and since you all can read this entry now, it means that...heh! My chinese is improving!

I just moved in to my new temporary place and so far everything has been good. They are a really nice family and I enjoy their company as well. =) I get to be the big sister...something I've never experienced yet. But then, of course...Not being with Joanne Chong is so different! It has been a GREAT two weeks being with her...she's like the sister that I left back home. If ever I needed to talk to anyone about anything, I'd just pop into her room and talk. Jo, I'll miss our cab conversations- they're the best! Yes, all the things we do together are definitely going to be missed but most of all, I'll miss you! :(

Everything seems to be falling into place. This is the point in my life where I can say that I am really enjoying- worry free more or less and certain about the more important things. I haven't felt this way in a long time...although the situation may be a bit strange, I'm trying to feel comfortable in it. But of course, we all know that change is the only constant thing...this state won't last very long. But at least, I got the chance to finally recall what it's like. :)

Goodbye

It's all over. No more waking up in the morning wishing I didn't wake up at all. No more wondering why. It's all in the past. Buried, healed...but never forgotten. Have I fully let go? Probably not. But that's because a part of me will always treasure the memories. Goodbye to the person I once knew. Maybe you never really existed at all.

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie....Oi Oi Oi!

I'm currently in Sydney, Australia...and I'm loving it! I like the not so city but city kind of environment. It's so different from the places I've lived in and the places I've been :) Guess it gets a place in my Top 5 Countries I'd want to live in.

Anyway, we're just wrapping up our 3 week long vacation...more or less done with packing and yes, I've managed to fit all my stuff into my luggage (though I had to sit on it again)! Done with all the sightseeing...done with picture taking (I used up all the memory in my 256 and 512mb disks)! Shopping? Well, that's something we can never get enough of really.

This trip has been great I must say...lots of ups and downs but overall, I'm glad I had the chance to go through it! Thanks to my parents for "spoiling us" (quoted from the hotel manager of our ship who happens to be my gym buddy as well) and allowing us to step into the Diamond Princess! :)

I'll let you in on a secret...I've always dreamed of being a performer/entertainer. You might ask what kind since there are different types of performers- singers, actors, jugglers, comedians, instrumentalists, etc. Being on this ship just made me relive a childhood dream I've always had...which is to become a dancer. :) Watching the shows every night made me want to change my career path! But I guess it's too late...at this age, I can't even do a split. But yeah...if only I could rewind time, I would have done things differently.

***pauses for a while***

Done laughing? Anyway, tomorrow, we're going for a last minute trip to the zoo! Yup, saying hi and goodbye to the koalas, kangaroos and kiwis before I go back to Manila, open my email and greet my A-level results...Pray for me? Not just for A-level results...but for the courage to face the animals in the zoo.

I'm OK

Hey everyone, it's now 8:27PM in New Zealand but my body clock is still at 3:27PM. Just flew in from Hong Kong this morning.

It's been 5 whole days since I left my handphone at home and it feels really weird without it. My dad said that not having a handphone is actually liberating--but in all honesty, I don't think so. It feels really weird not to stay connected. Specially since for the past few days I couldn't really use the internet like I used to. I found out that I had to pay HK$50 for 15 minutes! That's really such a rip off! But it didn't matter anyway since when I go back to the hotel, the business centre's already closed. And now with the time difference, I'd have to wake up at 5AM to be able to catch the people I usually talk to. It seems that I've just been too dependent on handphones and the internet that it's just so hard not to live without them. Wonder how it felt like to live in the stone age. Hmm..But anyway, thanks to the business centre here in our New Zealand hotel! Net free and there's no time limit!

So what have I been doing the past few days in Hong Kong? Aside from eating really good but greasy dimsum and soy chicken, we usually walk all day. At first I thought that shopping won't be that great since most of the stores would still be selling the winter collection. True for most but since there are multiple great shopping places in Hong Kong, it's not hard to find clothes for the not so cold weather. There were lots of stuff on sale! Oh, and do you know the waffle that's shaped like small balls? The ones that you can only find on the sidewalk? I love that! :)

Anyway, I'm getting really tired and a bit jet lagged. Getting on board the Diamond Princess tomorrow...pray that it'll be safe?

"In a perfect world, there would be no pain...there would be no death of innocence, there would be no guilt and no shame. "

Oh, in case you were wondering, I didn't go visit Mickey Mouse. I decided to go shopping instead.

Goodbye For Now

Ok, interesting, that long long long entry got deleted by some unknown power. Anyway, I'm going away for 3 weeks...I'll update when I get back! Bye!

Living on the Edge

Obviously I haven't been blogging for the past few weeks. That's because I've been really really bored here. Ok, I am having fun...spending time with family and friends...going out and all...but I think there's bound to be something I should be doing! I was supposed to start working but we're going for a pretty long family vacation in February so it would be kinda useless to start now.

I have to admit, I like the feeling of not having to worry about tutorials- not having to wake up to a table with loads to study. I like being around people- not going home to an empty home. But I think I've reached the point where I need to get back my space again. I guess I just need time to think. I've just been surrounded with too much opinions. I know it's good to get advice from people who've gone through what I am going through...but sometimes, I think I need to take a huge step back and think about what I really want for myself.

Basically, all I'm saying is that all this extra free time? It's really driving me nuts. I thought I'd enjoy 8 full months of not doing anything. But, NO. I can't stand it anymore. I hate living a life of uncertainty. I don't like it. It's been making me think of things I don't even have control over. To sum it all up, I don't like being idle and I don't like not having control. Sorry to those I've snapped at the past few days...there's just been a lot of things on my mind. Soon enough, I'll be ok.

Music Fortune Teller

So here's what I did: I set my iTunes to shuffle mode...and asked the following questions...Here's what Joshua thinks.

What do you think of me, iTunes?
Tell Me How You Feel, Joy Enriquez - All I wanna say is that I want you in my life...Baby I want you but I don't know what to say.
Looks like I have my darling. Haha.

Will I have a happy life?
The Dream Within, Lara Fabian - Free, the dream within...We tremble and spin, suspended within, look beyond where hearts can see. Dream in peace, trust the belief.

What do my friends really think of me?
It Might Be You, Stephen Bishop - Something's telling me it might be you...yes it's telling me it might be you...all of my life.
Err...really? I certainly hope not.

What should I do with my life?
Time of Our Lives, Paul Van Dyke - There's a time for us to let go...there's a time for holding on.
Hmmm...

Why must life be so full of pain?
Just Kidding, The Idea of North - You wanna hit me a little where it hurts...It's a game we play.
Wanna know my opinion? It's not a fun game at all.

Will I die happy?
I Want You To Know, Chantal Kreviazuk
Hmm...doesn't really make sense to me.

Can you give me some advice?
Foolish Games, Jewel
Haha...this one made me laugh! Are you asking me to play foolish games?

What is happiness?
American Woman, Lenny Kravitz - American woman, stay away from me!
LOL. Is Joshua gay or what!

Ok it's getting cheesy...enough!

Backaches and Burnt Popcorn

Been some time since I last blogged. Been up to a lot of New Year celebrations and stuff so I didn't have much time. Anyway, Happy New Year everyone! Hope it was a great 2005 for you! For me? Well, it was memorable. Looking forward to a new and improved 2006!

Went to Tagaytay with my cousins on the last day of 2005. Had a great time! For those who are not familiar with the place, basically it's just a 2 hour drive from Manila. Lots of restaurants up there...not really the modern kind but more rural and culture-ish. Lots of greenery and not much civilization compared to Manila of course but it's good place to relax and have fun. :) If you wanna see the pictures we took, check out ginarella.multiply.com :)

Since we all gain a little bit during the holidays, I decided to take up a sport. My chosen sport is.....boxing! Yes, boxing! It's really fun! There's this thing called the rapid fire where you just gotta box nonstop for like 2 minutes....whoah. Tiring but the feeling of having exercised and having burned all that chocolate cake is great! Well, don't ask what happened the next day. Let's just say, I was half bedridden.

One thing I miss most from Singapore? Popcorn! Everytime I watch a movie, I have to buy popcorn! I remember asking the guy to give me half of each flavor. Well, guess what! There is actually a flavor that's both sweet and salty in one. It's called, kettlecorn. So, my HUGE box from Singapore came back and I got back my stash of DVDs and we all decided we should watch something. What is a movie without a popcorn anyway? So we decided to pop some kettlecorn. After 3 minutes of heating it in the microwave, the whole kitchen smelled awful. Yes, burnt popcorn. Sigh. Guess I've got to fly back to Singapore to get back my popcorn! Movies, anyone?