Waiting

It's 6:46AM and I'm trying to keep myself awake. I have about half an hour more before I leave for the airport. Don't really dare to sleep cause I might miss my flight! Horrors of horrors if that really happens. So anyway, I just decided to update since I've finished packing and there's nothing else to do.

It's going to be a truly busy two months ahead of me. Well, right now, I'm just waiting for my flight to Manila to spend a good 5 days with my family and also to celebrate my Grandmother's 90th birthday. After that, I've got a day left in Singapore (which will be used to for some performance) before I fly to Europe for our choral tour. This time, we will be competing in Wales. That will be followed by my trip to France, Italy and Austria (Sound of Music, here I come!). I'll be coming back to Singapore to do my matriculation stuff at SMU and if my parents allow me, I'll be visiting my sister in Canada after that! I'm really excited about travelling...hope things work out the way it was planned.

I've Lost It

Cristina: How do you keep your edge sir? Because I've watched you and you've been doing this a long time and you're clean, you're focused, you are the job, nothing gets to you. And the thing is sir, I was like that, until I got here. Until I actually started doing this job and now everything is---is fuzzy and
Chief: That’s beside the point.
Cristina: No see sir, this is the point. Because I can't tell you, I can't tell you what happened in that room. And before I could have, no guilt, no loyalties, no problem. Before, before I wouldn't have even been in that room. I wouldn't have gotten involved. I would have never frozen in surgery. And I would have told him what I thought he should do. I had an edge, sir. I had an edge and I've lost it, and I need it. I need it back. So, if you could just tell me, how you keep yours and how not to be affected, I know I could be a great surgeon. So if you could just give me the answers, I would really appreciate it.

The truth is, I've become more human. I've learned how to feel...how to let go. But I don't know whether it is actually a good thing. It made things less clear. No more black or white. It's all different shades of grey. I get distracted and sometimes, it feels like I just couldn't get back on track. Silly, huh? But being more human made me learn to care...not just about myself but care about others too. I've learned to laugh...but I've learned to cry too. Others define it as living life to the fullest. But is it? I'm not too sure.

Black Roses

Can I ask you a question please

Promise you won't laugh at me

Honestly I'm standing here

Afraid I'll be betrayed

As twisted as it seems,

I only fear love when it's in my dreams

So let the morning light come in and let the darkness fade away

Can you turn my black roses red?

Drowning in my loneliness

How long must I hold my breath

So much emptiness inside I could fill the deepest sea

I reach to the sky as the moon looks on

One last year has come and gone

It's time to let your love rain down on me

Can you turn my black roses red?

Cuz I'm feelin like I'll blame it on love.

Life So Far

Yes I know I haven't been updating much. I've been really occupied with so much stuff that life actually feels like a soap opera now. And no, I'm not exaggerating. But despite all these, I'm glad there are people around me who stand by me :) And of course, prayers do work wonders!

Hmm..I don't really feel like blogging about it. So I'll blog again when I feel like writing already. :p Going to get my fix of McDreamy now.