11.02.2005

I'm Only Human

It's been a really long time since I've spent time with the people closest to me- my family, my friends, my cousins...and it just scares me how I've changed and how much they don't know me anymore. Most of the time, I find myself frustrated with their reactions. Well, I've changed. It's not that I wanted to, it's just the way it is.

People often think of me as the person I was four years ago. I wouldn't blame them...those images were the last of me they'd ever seen. Of course they'll expect to see those right? But what they don't know are the things experiences I've gone through while I've been away. How these things have shaped who I am now and how these challenges have changed my perspective on life. I've talked to them about my day to day experiences but it's not that simple to understand.

Sometimes I ask myself, have I really changed for the better? Honestly, I don't know. All I know is that, I'm different in the sense that now, I feel more. No more I'm-the-king-of-the-world illusions. I'm only human. I make mistakes and I'm not as strong as you think I am. Now that I'm in this stage of my life when I really need your support, please don't shun me away and tell me that I can do it like I've done before. It kills me even more that you expect me to be who I was before when right now, I'm really struggling. Please hear me out.

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