Christmas...a season of love, isn't it? But why is it that when I look around, I see images of hatred, deception and sadness. Behind that smile is actually a heart that cries. Yes...the celebration continues. But inside, there's just this nagging feeling of discontentment and melancholy. Guess it is the time of the year where we can actually reflect on what has happened in the year that's just about to end. No work, no school...just time with your friends, family and of course, time with yourself.
People have come to me and shared their recent experiences, those which I am not exactly unfamiliar with. It kind of transported me back to the time when I myself was experiencing it. Surprisingly, the pain is still familiar. It wasn't like before when I used to just forget about the pain to the point that it seemed like I didn't even have to go through it at all. I guess this time around, it scarred me too deeply I can't seem to forget it.
Actually, it's kind of surreal still. Like it happened in a different universe with people who I don't even know anymore. Kind of like I thought I knew who they were but actually, they were just mere ideas of what the person is like. They didn't actually exist and thus, deeming the friendship a lie and the person a figment of my imagination. Funny how we can conjure things up to hurt ourselves in return.
Yes, fooling your own self sounds pathetic. But I guess there is still something sadder than that...fooling yourself and not realizing you're doing it.
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